Party Politics

Hello Escritori,

The “Favourite Fins” mermaid outfit series seems to be amusing Lynn sufficiently every Thursday. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Puns abound, and I still haven’t worn the mermaid shoes in Real Life yet. As there are three more outfits to go, the chattier Thursday style posts may leak over a little bit into Tuesdays. Hope that’s okay!

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Sunday happened to be the perfect time to consider all the factors in my C.B.T. toolkit as we were off to another pre-wedding shindig. Mum, me and Mary 2. Mary 3 is busy with her degree.ย I wasn’t as worried about this one as it was not a family affair and required that I merely turn up looking clean. Okay, maybe a bit more than just CLEAN. Get this, I contoured.

In all honesty it’s been a while since we all got gussied up, (or whatever the expression is) so I was looking forward to it. I was actually considering a very vibrant purple lip but blotted it to death and then powdered it to something more palatable. Then I had a crisis that a blackberry mouth somehow aged me into Auntie status and went for a nice, neutral, non-Auntie inferring Praline Beige.

Mmmm. Pralines. Mmm Guylian. Other Belgian chocolate sea-shells are available.

It was really the same old, same old, but as usual I like and enjoy events that are clearly family-organised, a team effort from the decor to the food. Its those little labours of love that… express love really. I’m probably biggest on quality time, myself. Of course the whole shindig got Mum back on the “You looked pretty last night and seem fine, therefore I really think you should find a husband now” train, as if a husband is… a draught excluder… a mortgage…. or some sort of kitchen gadget – all three of these obviously inferring Official Grown Up Status.

I can’t seem to do anything about this ageing malarkey that seems to spur her on so much. I see it as a fact of life. I think that’s exactly the sentiment that went into Agapi Mou, the idea that the most complex wars are fought on the terrain of the body of Woman.

Unfortunately I can’t cease to find something a little bit political about that fact. Although love is a big deal to me, even that is not safe because I truly believe that who we decide to love (and marry) is the single biggest revolutionary decision we will ever make – in terms of a revolution of the Self – in preparation for the Other.

Keep scribbling,

~ Pola ~

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19 thoughts on “Party Politics

  1. Love this Pola. You idea that all’s required is to turn up ‘clean’ – excellent attitude – to seeing men as some kind of domestic accessory. I don’t blame you for weighing this life choice carefully – you definitely want to go for the Dyson of husbands rather than some chepa knick off ๐Ÿ™‚

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    1. I don’t see men as domestic appliances, I fear my mother might – or that they might see us this way.

      In the wise words of Shakira: ‘I’m starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an outfit.’

      By the way, it was a ladies only do and yes, I did wear makeup. I feel I’ve opened a can of worms here now… :/ I deliberately don’t do this, as I don’t need mess on my floor. It’s hard for me to feel I deserve a Dyson.

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      1. I guess a lot of mum’s see husbands as just something else that a woman automatically picks up as she goes along – like a hoover. You do deserve a Dyson – every girl deserves a Dyson in her life. (The vacuum cleaner and the husband version ๐Ÿ™‚ )

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      2. Ach, you know, I’ve just been through the ringer and all the things I used to count as the means by which I valued my own contribution have just… melted away. I feel like I’ve got no recognition for the fact that I scraped myself up back to good health by the fingernails. Now I’m playing Catch-Up Grown Up. That’s the crux of it.

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      3. Hard when everything you valued yourself for goes – really hard. But there are other things you can value. You really need to be proud of yourself for making yourself well again – it takes hard work to do it, as anyone whose suffered ill health knows.

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      4. Indeed. I just don’t know where to restart from, given that it’s been three years since then, one year to recover, and two more to gain the kind of stability that doesn’t feel like a fluke.

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      5. Hard not to want things to be what they were straight away. Hard to be patient. But you’re doing brilliantly, all the right things, you just have to trust on the doors opening for you

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    1. There’s a difference between liking yourself and self-advertising. That’s when other people get more selective, like whatever type of woman is is la mode du jour you know? I like me, mostly, I just doubt that anyone else would – Is it enough just to be fabulous, Sam?

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      1. Desolรฉe… without makeup also/even? I doubt a guy would take a woman seriously who didn’t have a job and some idea of what she stood for and wanted out of life. Could you respect a woman without a job?

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      2. I meant that guys always seem to be looking for “the whole package” but don’t really seem to care if that is unique or not. It’s a checklist exercise.

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      3. I thought you were trying to stick to positive thoughts? :p
        Having a job, or make-up, or not having it… that doesn’t change who you are, does it?
        As for respect… “in the void”, one should respect everyone… then decide based on who people are.
        I find your observations disturbing.

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      4. I appreciate that you feel that way. I agree, the person is the person. However we’re in different contexts. You’re thinking about people in “the void” and I’m thinking about how to assess a potential spouse without prejudice. This is longer term thinking.

        The body of my post is me disagreeing with my mother about dehumanising men; and also with the facades that people put up to attract each other.

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