C.B.T Fifth Session

Hello Escritori,

Sorry for the break in the visuals in this series… but it’s still C.B.T. It’s been really nice for everyone to organically discover that we all feel the same way about stress and want to beat it.

The chill air of Winter just hits my face, nose and head. Right about now would be when I would change my hijabs to warmer things like shawls and pashminas but then you run the risk of overheating. It’s a delicate balance which leaves me trying to thaw out and which can leave the nerves jangling in my jaw.

I went to the dentist, only to find that she was one of my old classmates from school. She is beautiful, qualified, married, has recently bought a house and has a puppy. We all know that a puppy is essentially a Mock-Baby. Someone that beautiful obviously has strong genes.

God it was horrible. Forget the puppy.

COMPARISON is the reason I’ve left Social Media but because she is so nice it would be wasteful to dislike her. I made so many stupid jokes in an attempt to seem bubbly and blasé. After I had to get routine X-rays, I said:

“I haven’t exchanged this much saliva in one sitting in a REALLY long time…”

She laughed and so did the Nurse. Later, I wished I’d been swallowed up by the chair. I wonder how people would react if they realised that most natural comedians use comedy to hide an innate affinity to despair; how we are all: ‘Patience on a monument, smiling at Grief.’

Anyway, this week’s C.B.T. session was exclusively about Panic Attacks and how, regardless of the cause, trigger or symptoms (if there are any) on a biological level it has to do with the exchange of Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide in the blood. Usually this is a perfectly balanced equation, but if you cause any shifts when stressed, such as sighing or yawning, you’re playing with that balance.

An increase in Oxygen is vital against a predator as part of Fight or Flight, but if you have too much Oxygen in you as a result and don’t use it in a combat or high action situation, the safest thing for your body to do in order to USE this excess, is to have a Panic Attack until you have more CO2 in your system and become sufficiently re-balanced. This was a eureka moment for me.

Box Breathing would be really helpful for me personally. You breathe in for three counts, hold it for three counts, then exhale for three counts, catch the end of the exhale for three counts and repeat as if sketching a square in the air. This gives your brain something logical to fix on, while you can tell your emotional side: It’s okay. I know what this is – ie. just an imbalance which will be fine in time. As for the rest of life….

Keep scribbling,

~ Pola ~