Madelene and Samuel, a ghostly host of guests, Emily, George and a selection of children in very beautiful slippers are assembled for Samuel and Madelene’s wedding at The Assembly Rooms.
The wedding is officiated by Elizabeth Taylor, whose chic Fifties evening dress is a noted exhibit.
Liz – I’d like to express my gratitude to you marvellous young people (gestures to Madelene and Samuel) for inviting me out. I can’t explain how much it stunk in there. I was quite distraught. Almost as distraught as I was on contract to MGM…
George – (sotto voce to Emily) As usual, we must pay court only to her…
Emily – Stop fussing George, you’re both pretty.
Liz – Dearly Departed, we are gathered here today to witness the marriage of two mannequins, Madelene and Samuel…
George – Did you count the bridesmaids?
Emily – No.
George – There’s far too many. Although they are already dead so nothing too awful could happen. But I must say the cake is a triumph.
Emily – I had to save it from near calamity and now it is floating serenely over there.
The levitating wedding cake appears to curtsy when Emily waves.
Emily cont’d – So what do you think of Madelene in the Vicerene’s dress? It is quite breath-taking. That train. (sighs.)
George – Well, of course, it’s her wedding day… and one shouldn’t speak ill of the dead…
Emily – But…
George – She just doesn’t fill it out properly.
Emily – Lord give me patience…
Liz – In as much as Samuel and Madelene have consented to be together in holy wedlock, (to Madelene) which I personally suggest you insure via pre-nup Baby… and have signified the same by the giving and receiving –
George – (sniggers.)
Liz – OF RINGS; I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may… Um, kiss the bride.
A ghostly cheer erupts.
Emily – Strange etiquette, but Madelene never does anything by halves, and so her wedding has become a ball.
George – What I don’t know about etiquette around balls is not worth knowing.
Samuel and Madelene pass by radiantly.
Emily – Congratulations to both of you.
Madelene – Thank you, and thanks are due for the cake.
Emily – My pleasure, only mind the children don’t chase it…
George – Well Sam, hearts are breaking as we speak, but I wish you joy. When are we to expect the echoes of tiny screams?
Samuel – Steady on old chap… we’ve got all the time in the world.
Madelene – Yes we have.
Emily – (pointedly) What was that you were saying about Scotch, George?
George – If you’ll excuse us, my good friend requires some immediate inebriation…
George draws Emily away and they walk until out of the scene.
Emily – I beg you, whirl me around until I’m dizzy and do not stop dancing until we fall down. It’s the only way to endure it all.
George – Your wish is my command, dear Governess.
Stage left, Madelene and Samuel stand surveying their guests.
Samuel – Are you happy, Madelene?
Madelene – Immeasurably.
Samuel – Good.
He rifles in his pockets distractedly, in pretence.
Madelene – What are you looking for?
Samuel – Not looking. Searching. I wondered when it might be politic to try to locate your garter…
Madelene – I believe I may be of assistance…