I said I was going to boast about my wrapping skills, but really all I thought was “I’m lacking ribbon here.” Last week on Friday it was finally my friend The Birthday Girl’s real birthday.
We were all set for long time to visit a very posh place for Afternoon Tea and a surfeit of girlishness. We met up on a few occasions before her birthday and I was up against a bit of a mental block which for once had nothing to do with averse mental health and everything to do with wanting to achieve something to be proud of in my life. There are lots of things, but few with a financial reward.
Additionally my discontent was social: I think, in a weirdly counter-intuitive way, having so many female friends of varying romantic persuasions has caused me to lose touch with my femininity. I’ve got to get more straight male friends for the sake of balance. I’m starting to forget what having them around feels like…
As I mentioned in various different posts TBG (which will probably be her hook forever on this blog now) has Bipolar 1. I have Bipolar 2 which is less extreme, and has fewer rapid cycles of symptoms. For a long while she was worrying about her love life and I was the one being reassuring. Then, as in all great friendships she switched roles for me, and she had been up for so long I was urging caution to her, just in case the downer arrived.
There are some hits and misses in the photo quality here, I’m sorry. I did a fancy layout to express my sorrow.
I made the idea of her birthday a moment of light to look forward to. Then the mood became wistful. She wasn’t feeling great so we switched plans, didn’t force ourselves to be fake or perform, in imitations of our more jolly normative selves.
We didn’t accuse, we just understood.
She talked a bit about how she’d probably feel much better after getting her hair done (hairdressers are the world’s best and cheapest psychologists we concur) and we talked about the mutual friends that would be joining her for her birthday dinner later. We demanded nothing more than company and ate amazing cake at our usual coffee place. She liked her presents and we expressed thankfulness at being each other’s person that just gets it.
I had a good time in the end and only hoped I had contributed to the happiness of her birthday with my small efforts.
~ Pola ~