As I was perusing the blogs of my (29!) lovely followers (hello you!) I came across one, discussing the phenomenon which I also had to go through as a Bipolar sufferer – what I call: The Drug Cocktail Bar.
This is the phase in the aftermath of a Manic episode, where your Recovery Team who are responsible for helping you, assess you, in order to find you the right medication to help stabilise you.
That’s the 100% Stable Pola’s explanation.
(SO many cocktails have been poorly drawn for this post. Appreciate.)
As someone on the receiving end of this process, at the time you feel like the world’s most corpulent and invisibly stigmatised HUMAN GUINEA PIG. You feel as if they’re giving you one thing after the other and just watching you to see how you react. It’s a horrible, horrible, dehumanising place to be: especially when nothing seems to work.
I joke, “I fell out of my tree so they gave me a lot of names from the ‘pine’ family”, pronounced peen. This is hilarious to me, because a lot of peen seems like the perfect cure: when a Bipolar sufferer is fighting Hypersexuality.
Any pharmaceutical with a ‘pine’ suffix is an Anti-Psychotic medication, which is first-aid for curbing Mania and delusions. Ergo, I would accept Chris Pine as a prescription.
Anything can happen in The Woods…
(I’m JOKING. Don’t have sex when high on your own chemistry.)
It’s possible, if you’re still residually delusional, that you start to work this Human Guinea Pig feeling into a conspiracy theory. This means it’s harder for people to help you recover. Mainly though, you just become tired and cynical. Any professionals reading this, please remember that part of your ‘helping’ is to remember our need to feel human, with free will.
On balance, I was very lucky that it didn’t take that long to find the right medication. I do really sympathise with those still in that situation. Speaking from the other side, I say please keep the faith because the other side is SO much better.
Once you feel it’s threatened, normality is such a precious thing, so every good day is a victory.
And although it feels like waiting at Rick’s Café, to get out of Casablanca, you just have to wait at that gin-joint until you find the ‘usual’ that stops you feeling quite so unusual. And you will.
Keep scribbling Kids,
~ Pola ~