Emotional Equations

Hello Escritori,

I’ve noticed something TINY but pivotal: how much the blogosphere uses the word ‘I’.

When I started this blog, it was because I didn’t have a place to go regarding how to express and unpack my chronic illness, both emotionally and practically. I had the feeling that maybe, just maybe I wasn’t the only one, but like most ‘bloggers with a cause’ I was afraid in case I was. So I started to create my own.

The idea was that if there was no-one else there, by the time someone else showed up, I’d have created a place for them to go instead, so they’d never have to feel as lost as I was… This is the positive side of I: your own emancipation.

I’m very independent-minded, one of my Pola-isms is: I don’t do ‘we’ easily. 

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It is very important for me to respect, appreciate and know someone’s character as holistically as possible before I can trust their judgement, empathy and their emotional energy. That sounds hippy even to me, but trust is earned. Additionally,  a part of me knows that everything that is out of your comfort zone, but not directly harmful, can be seen in some way as desirably part of your personal growth.

The positive ‘I’ relates to themselves by taking others into consideration. So now I’m making a vow to use the word ‘you’ more in my posts, because another great change that I’ve been seeing lately is that though I’ve been putting things out there, the next new adventure is that all of you, Escritori, are starting to talk back in really supportive ways. Thank you!

YOU + I = WE. If I can do that here, maybe I can carry the lesson into my life. Synthesis.

The negativity of ‘I’ can be clinched by anyone who has ever been, or lived with a teenager. Adolescence is a time that is so fixated on the immediate (and largely libidinal) needs of self-hood that it comes as no surprise that so many bloggers are so young, and that so many Youtube personalities are outspoken ranters, satirists and pranksters.

Being safely now WAY out of that crucible, I don’t want you to ever come to The Escritorium feeling that I am in any way indulgent. I hope that I never express something just for the sake of it, but that I’m here to tell my truth and to see if it chimes with yours.

Keep scribbling,

~ Pola ~

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