What would this post be without a soundtrack? (until I learn how to embed properly.)
Here are some things I have observed about this annual social phenomenon. These observations apply to the home-based pre-wedding celebrations not the big wedding receptions which might seem more familiar to the outside audience.
1. You will probably lose your shoes the second you take them off at the door but hey, you made it – best not to go into the vagaries of Asian timing. We’re never on time, this is when people remember I was born HERE so I’m achingly punctual and British. It physically hurts not to be on time.
2. You will worry people will recognise that you’re repeat wearing your outfit on the basis that ‘that lot haven’t seen this one yet.’ Largely they won’t know. The ones that pass comment are cows.
3. You will have to make way for elders to sit down (naturally I respect this) and possibly rescue a little girl from being squashed accidentally.
4. You will have to endure at least 15 mins of spoons clanking on the side of a dhol drum and folk songs until you escape to whatever room the club music is coming from. (And that just makes you feel old when you don’t recognise it.)
5. There will be an army of little girls around you who seem far more frighteningly sophisticated and socially well connected. You have an in with them if a good dancer.
6. Everyone however social, once done chatting (usually prior to eating and dancing) will be in thrall to the available wifi and devoted to their phone.
7. Your friends, if any, will arrive shockingly late which will prompt you to be hyperbolically glad to see them so that you can stop pretending to be on your phone.
8. There will be a queuing system for the buffet… and it will break down swiftly.
9. The music (which you will drift between dance-circles to dance to) will only ever get good by the time your family decide to leave. But when it’s good, you’re Madhuri Dixit reloaded in dancing skill. Awesome.
10. It will be near impossible for you to find you shoes in order TO leave. In the meantime you will push it by seeing how long you can keep dancing for re: #9.
~ Pola ~